• walking
    She walked through it… She walked through it…

    She walked through it…

She walked through it…

I visited with a friend the other day and she surprised me.  She had a very traumatic childhood and had struggled to manage her emotional life as an adult.  Rage was her number one tool of empowerment.  The rage gave her a sense of power but left her without friends or partners, she chased them all away. As we talked she recounted a story to me that in the past would have ended in rage that she handled in a very healthy way.  I marveled at her new skills and couldn’t help asking how she had accomplished it.  She said, […]

  • Insp-2
    Will you become less if you lose your anger? Will you become less if you lose your anger?

    Will you become less if you lose your anger?

Will you become less if you lose your anger?

Millie questioned her husbands sobriety and efforts at recovery.  It seemed to her that he was slipping back into some old habits.  He wasn’t being as diligent, skipping meetings and treatment sessions.  He was wandering bit on the internet to things that seemed inappropriate for a recovering sex addict. Bill immediately became defensive.  He flushed with anger and felt himself “puff up”.  He spouted some pretty ridiculous reasons why he was looking for pictures of Kate Middleton recently taken while she was sun bathing.  “I wanted to know what lense the photographer used,” was his best defense.  Only an addict […]

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  • The Recovery Highway
    Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway

    Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway

Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway

This article, written by Roger was published last week on ksl.com. SALT LAKE CITY — Cunning … baffling … these are the words Bill W. used in Alcoholics Anonymous’ “Big Book” to describe the struggle finding recovery from alcoholism. The descriptors apply to all addictions and compulsive behaviors. The addicts’ behaviors and choices often defy logic and reason and consume the compassion and patience of loved ones at hyper-space speed. The confusion not only sustains the addiction but also deters recovery. Being able to quantify what recovery involves or looks like can be very useful for not only the addict […]

  • Insp-1
    Addicts, Please read this:  Not what life is supposed to be… Addicts, Please read this:  Not what life is supposed to be…

    Addicts, Please read this: Not what life is supposed to be…

Addicts, Please read this: Not what life is supposed to be…

The following is from the wife of a pornography addict.  It contains a message for every addict. Addicts are blind to many things. One very important one is the damage they do to their spouse and the marriage relationship. Your recovery will not be complete, or perhaps even start, until you realize some of the magnitude of the damage you have caused. If your reaction to reading this is, “But if she,” or “You don’t understand,” you are in more trouble than you realize. Please wake up, take responsibility, and start trying to heal the wounds you have inflicted on […]

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  • WaterFall02lo
    Stephanie Abney’s Book Review Stephanie Abney’s Book Review

    Stephanie Abney’s Book Review

Stephanie Abney’s Book Review

Stephanie’s review appeared in the Deseret News and on Mormon Times.com. Roger Stark’s own journey of recovery gave him the desire to become an addiction counselor. Now he shows others the way to healing through one-on-one counseling, at recovery retreats and in his new book, “The Waterfall Concept: A Blueprint for Addiction Recovery.” Stark uses the analogy of a waterfall and the safety assured when one is far upstream, away from the edge and the imminent danger associated with venturing too close to the falls. He carefully outlines the path to recovery step by step, phase by phase, using case […]

  • couple
    How do I tell? How do I tell?

    How do I tell?

How do I tell?

When addiction is newly discovered, and sadly, it is usually discovered, not disclosed, the innocent spouses world is often devastated. Things are no longer as they were once thought. The possibilities of betrayal arise, trust is gone, security and feelings of safety that living the gospel create are erased. The devastation of the spouse is vast and sadly often ignored. Spouses often shift into fixit mode. They find therapists, addiction recovery meetings, search the web, and buy books. They are often shocked when the addict replies, “Counseling never works… I don’t want to be seen going to ‘those’ meetings, it […]

  • WaterFall02lo
    Valerie Steimle’s “Waterfall” review… Valerie Steimle’s “Waterfall” review…

    Valerie Steimle’s “Waterfall” review…

Valerie Steimle’s “Waterfall” review…

This review appeared on Valerie’s blog The Blessings of Family Life. For those who are stuck in their addictions this book is a godsend. The Waterfall Concept was written by a recovering addict himself who became an addiction counselor wanting to help addicts and their families. Roger Stark explains in simple language the process in which anyone struggling with any kind of addiction can return to recovery. From three basic phases, discovery, recovery and maintenance, addicts learn to heal themselves to a life of happiness and fulfillment. With the idea of water flowing over a falls and the understanding that […]

  • Benchmarks
    How Common is Drug and Alcohol Addiction? How Common is Drug and Alcohol Addiction?

    How Common is Drug and Alcohol Addiction?

How Common is Drug and Alcohol Addiction?

This post is taken form the website www.addictionandrecovery.org Approximately 10% of any population is addicted to drugs or alcohol. Addiction crosses all socio-economic boundaries. 10% of teachers, 10% of plumbers, and 10% of CEOs have an addiction. Addiction is more common than diabetes, which occurs in approximately 7% of the population. The Definition of Substance Abuse Some people aren’t addicted to drugs or alcohol, but abuse them. The American Psychiatric Association (DSM-IV) definition of substance abuse is at least one of the following four criteria. Continued use despite social or interpersonal problems. Repeated use resulting in failure to fulfill obligations […]

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  • discovery
    The Discovery Phase of Healing The Discovery Phase of Healing

    The Discovery Phase of Healing

The Discovery Phase of Healing

It all begins with the Discovery. The process of realization that we are, in fact, an addict.  Then we complete discovery by coming to understand the devastating truth about what that truly means. This is harder than it should be.  Our addict and his denial likes to get in the way.  Addiction changes how we assimilate and process life’s experiences.  As addicts we become very good at rationalization, justification, and denying that there is a problem. It takes a while for us to come out of this fog of denial, to stop being blind to our addiction.  The antidote of […]

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  • recovery2
    The Recovery Phase of Healing The Recovery Phase of Healing

    The Recovery Phase of Healing

The Recovery Phase of Healing

The Recovery Phase is change making.  We have come to a point of understanding how our behaviors have affected ourselves and others, and it is not a pretty picture.  Through the doorway of godly sorrow, we develop the desire to make things right.  Recovery is the process of  making amends and remaking ourselves. It is about change and reinvention, we are seeking…to be reconciled to God; for we know He is the source of our healing, after all we can do. (2 Nephi 25: 23)  This is when we do all we can do. Do our part of the work.  […]

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