• walking
    She walked through it… She walked through it…

    She walked through it…

She walked through it…

I visited with a friend the other day and she surprised me.  She had a very traumatic childhood and had struggled to manage her emotional life as an adult.  Rage was her number one tool of empowerment.  The rage gave her a sense of power but left her without friends or partners, she chased them all away. As we talked she recounted a story to me that in the past would have ended in rage that she handled in a very healthy way.  I marveled at her new skills and couldn’t help asking how she had accomplished it.  She said, […]

  • bullying
    Stop Bullying Yourself! Stop Bullying Yourself!

    Stop Bullying Yourself!

Stop Bullying Yourself!

Nobody likes a bully. Our collective awareness of the dangers and harm of bullying are rising. Teachers and administrators are searching for solutions, state lawmakers are crafting bills to protect victims, yet one of the worst bullies is getting off scot-free. He has his way with his victim, wreaking emotional havoc, and meets little or no resistance. You have may have witnessed this bullying and done nothing to stop it. Who is the bully? You. The victim? Yourself. Self-bullying is only beginning to be recognized as an emotional danger, but a growing number of researchers are establishing the connection between […]

  • 1402526_37232427
    Mood Management Mood Management

    Mood Management

Mood Management

“My mind is a bad neighborhood that I try to not go into alone.” While Anne Lamott’s humorous adage makes us smile, she does identify a significant problem for many: The moods found in the ‘hood’ of our mind can challenge our mental health, well-being and happiness. They are pretty hard to totally avoid — the blahs, the blues, icky moods. All are vulnerable. As psychcentral.com puts it, “Everyone experiences the blues because of troubling events such as the loss of a loved one, job difficulties, money problems, family issues or illness.” In some situations, like the grieving process, experiencing the […]

  • penn state
    What Penn State should be teaching us… What Penn State should be teaching us…

    What Penn State should be teaching us…

What Penn State should be teaching us…

From ksl.com, Monday 11/22/2011 written by Roger. Forty-three years ago, a child molester had his way with me. He was a trusted family friend, someone my family met at church, where he served as the leader of the youth program. One of the legacies of his attentions has been the occasional visit of a dark melancholy of sadness and a flood of tears. Last week, I cried again. The Penn State University sex-abuse scandal has unfolded before the nation’s eyes. A former football defensive coordinator and champion of disadvantaged youths, Jerry Sandusky, has been arrested and is facing numerous charges, […]

By ||Addiction, Healing Childhood Sex Abuse, Recovery Skills, Self Esteem|Comments Off on What Penn State should be teaching us…
  • boy
    The Pedophile, the Child and Me… The Pedophile, the Child and Me…

    The Pedophile, the Child and Me…

The Pedophile, the Child and Me…

Roger’s article published on ksl.com 10/24/2011: SALT LAKE CITY — Charles Dickens has already used the phrase, “It was the best of times, it was the worst of times,” but what an apt description of the childhood that includes a pedophile. The beginning of life should be filled with play, love, nurturing, growing and the blind happiness of childhood. It should be our “best of times,” the time when we build the repertory of memories that make us smile for a lifetime. The reality of the intrusion of a sexual abuser instead creates “the worst of times.” The numbers are […]

By ||Addiction, Healing Childhood Sex Abuse, Self Esteem, Spouses & Family|Comments Off on The Pedophile, the Child and Me…
  • Insp19
    Speak Kindly to Yourself Speak Kindly to Yourself

    Speak Kindly to Yourself

Speak Kindly to Yourself

This article was published in August on ksl.com and was written by Roger. Everyone constantly talks to themselves, whether they’re aware of it or not. It is called “inner chatter” or “self-talk,” and what is said in that medium has a tremendous effect on the quality of one’s emotional life and well-being. Marilyn Sorensen, Ph.D., puts it this way: “You become the architect and creator of the emotions you later experience through self-talk.” She continues, “Emotions do not come as the result of an observation or an experience but rather as the result of the things we say to ourselves […]

  • The Recovery Highway
    Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway

    Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway

Traveling the Addiction Recovery Highway

This article, written by Roger was published last week on ksl.com. SALT LAKE CITY — Cunning … baffling … these are the words Bill W. used in Alcoholics Anonymous’ “Big Book” to describe the struggle finding recovery from alcoholism. The descriptors apply to all addictions and compulsive behaviors. The addicts’ behaviors and choices often defy logic and reason and consume the compassion and patience of loved ones at hyper-space speed. The confusion not only sustains the addiction but also deters recovery. Being able to quantify what recovery involves or looks like can be very useful for not only the addict […]

  • acceptance7
    Suddenly, you are certain…. Suddenly, you are certain….

    Suddenly, you are certain….

Suddenly, you are certain….

This quote is from Invisible Heroes, Survivors of Trauma and How They Heal, by Belleruth Naparstek, a book of guided imagery for emotional healing: And suddenly you are certain, you know with your whole being, that you are healing.  That you will continue to heal.  That a time is coming when you will accept your sorrow; dismiss your shame; release your anger; forgive yourself; reclaim your strength; and express your gifts… This is the moment of recovery when we realize that what we have been doing is working.  Things are changing, and we can feel it.  The action verbs that […]

  • reflection
    Some reflections…healing from childhood sexual abuse Some reflections…healing from childhood sexual abuse

    Some reflections…healing from childhood sexual abuse

Some reflections…healing from childhood sexual abuse

I got a note from a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. It has been easy for me to see the links of where I am in my life now, the things that I’ve done, and the connection to being abused for 4 years starting at the age of 14. I understand clearly that one single event changed the rest of my life. I see the cause and the many effects. I have spent my entire life in a state of depression. I have never understood or maybe it is cared about the meaning of life. I do not have any […]

  • faith
    So use your faith. So use your faith.

    So use your faith.

So use your faith.

This being human thing is not as easy as it looks. Most of us are pretty sure God is there, that He loves us, that the Savior really lived and died for us. We confess belief in the gospel easily, we know the Book of Mormon is from God and Joseph Smith really was a prophet. We know all of these things and yet sometimes we still struggle. Here is how one person put it. I have been SO blessed, and yet the funny thing is I still do dumb things. I always imagined that being so blessed would prevent […]