• 2nd hand
    2nd Hand Addiction 2nd Hand Addiction

    2nd Hand Addiction

2nd Hand Addiction

The dangers of secondhand smoke have become well known and many in the community are pushing to protect children. But cigarette smokers, however, are not the only ones that compromise the health of their family with addictive behavior. Misusers of alcohol, drugs and those engaged in process addictions (sex, gambling, shopping) create emotional dysfunction that intrudes into the lives of those within the addict’s sphere of influence and challenge their well-being. While the addict may not be exposing others to a physical drug as the smoker does with nicotine, the intrusion remains real. It doesn’t stop with just family but […]

  • fat lady3
    Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

    Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

Yogi Berra taught us all that it ain’t over til the fat lady sings!  The process of recovery has a similar final act. To the general public, the term “recovery” is seen as “someone who is trying to stop using alcohol or other drugs.” (NCADD)   It then follows that the process of recovery is accomplished when we stop using.  Achieving the thing we call sobriety. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) recently undertook to quantify what the process of recovery might look like.  Their work yielded this definition:  “Recovery is a process of change whereby individuals […]

  • dd99cac75f042c3e36d72b677a982f92-1
    My Higher Power and Me My Higher Power and Me

    My Higher Power and Me

My Higher Power and Me

There was a tremendous spurt of recovery for me when I first heard the phrase, “Turn my mind and will over to my Heavenly Father for His care and keeping.”  My up bringing had included faith and regular interaction with God, but I had never contemplated that my submission to Him should be so described. I guess I held a sort of Old Testament view of Him being the “great and terrible” and my job was to run around and keep as many of those commandments as I could to avoid being outside when the door was shut. As I began […]

  • shopping2
    Shopping Addiction Shopping Addiction

    Shopping Addiction

Shopping Addiction

Anything that can alter our mood, (and, interestingly, not always to feel better) can become the object of our addiction.  Compulsive behavior comes in many forms, Roger’s recent KSL article (http://www.ksl.com) explores shopping addictions. It sounded like a self-introduction you would hear at any other 12 step meeting, “My name is Buzz, and I am” … and here is where it changes, “a shopaholic.” Eyes may roll and heads shake at that declaration. “Does everything have to be an addiction these days?” skeptics ask. Buzz elaborates and repeats his declaration, “In the past few years, I’ve bought 81 leather jackets. […]

  • rose
    Remember the Rose Remember the Rose

    Remember the Rose

Remember the Rose

The great American psychologist Albert Ellis once said, “Self-esteem is the greatest sickness known to man or woman because it is conditional.” Indeed, the finding of a healthy self-esteem is the greatest mental health challenge many face in their lifetime. Individual worth (and the self-esteem that is harvested from it) is not situational and should not be established by comparison, evaluation or an individual’s last great or terrible accomplishment. Those are the conditional elements Ellis was referring to. They are often not within an individual’s control. “Life happens” as the street therapist would say. Russel Seigenberg, Ph.D., of Logan, Utah, […]

  • Insp-2
    Will you become less if you lose your anger? Will you become less if you lose your anger?

    Will you become less if you lose your anger?

Will you become less if you lose your anger?

Millie questioned her husbands sobriety and efforts at recovery.  It seemed to her that he was slipping back into some old habits.  He wasn’t being as diligent, skipping meetings and treatment sessions.  He was wandering bit on the internet to things that seemed inappropriate for a recovering sex addict. Bill immediately became defensive.  He flushed with anger and felt himself “puff up”.  He spouted some pretty ridiculous reasons why he was looking for pictures of Kate Middleton recently taken while she was sun bathing.  “I wanted to know what lense the photographer used,” was his best defense.  Only an addict […]

By ||Attitudes of recovery, Benchmarks of Recovery, Recovery Skills, Rules for Recovery, Spouses & Family|Comments Off on Will you become less if you lose your anger?
  • 278660295663229758_mWgGijb3_c-1
    Make yourself available for recovery… Make yourself available for recovery…

    Make yourself available for recovery…

Make yourself available for recovery…

One of the requirements for recovery or the healing from an addiction, is that we make ourselves available for it. On the physical level, we have to be present for meetings, counseling, reading, all of the activities that help gain understanding and build skills.  AA’ers often take on the 90 meetings in 90 days commitment, putting themselves physically in the way of recovery, placing themselves in a place where recovery is known to occur.  They are then available for recovery. The concept makes sense, but many addicts find reasons to resist.  They avoid meetings because it will be embarrassing to […]

  • Broken watch2
    Disarming the Triggers Disarming the Triggers

    Disarming the Triggers

Disarming the Triggers

In the history of the recovery world, when the term “trigger” (an event or situation that causes acting out,) was brought into the lexicon, recovery helpers quickly adopted the concept. Everyone was talking about triggers and what to do about them. It got to the point that a recovery conversation didn’t go very far without triggers being brought up.  Many thought they now understood addiction because they understood triggers. Some addicts even learned to use them as an excuse for addictive behavior, “While I didn’t intend to act out, when I saw that picture it just triggered me.” I don’t […]

  • superstorm sandy
    This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job… This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job…

    This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job…

This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job…

Addicts generally come into addiction recovery, thinking that it is no big deal. The higher the intellect or IQ of an addict, the more likely they will believe that the war with addiction will be won in a matter of days or perhaps on the outside weeks. Here’s the reality. If this were a remodeling project, (and in a very real way it is the rebuilding of a human being,) we would talk not in terms of paint, cleanup and decorating, but in the wholesale gutting of the building and the complete rebuilding of the infrastructure. If you are a […]

By ||Addiction, Attitudes of recovery, Coming to Christ, Recovery Skills, Rules for Recovery, Sexual Addictions|Comments Off on This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job…
  • Insp-6
    I want what I want, when I want it…The Addict’s Mantra I want what I want, when I want it…The Addict’s Mantra

    I want what I want, when I want it…The Addict’s Mantra

I want what I want, when I want it…The Addict’s Mantra

An addict’s mantra is, “I want what I want when I want it,” and his or her emotion-based decision-making process is driven by it. The urge to use drugs has become stronger than the will to say “no,” and it results in the continual response of behavior based on placating self. Once addicts find themselves in full-blown addiction, they don’t concern themselves with the needs of others. They get lost in themselves and their gratification. Heavenly Father has a different model in mind for us. Elder James E. Faust said, “In this life we have to make many choices. Some […]