• relapse quote
    Self Inflicted Wounds Self Inflicted Wounds

    Self Inflicted Wounds

Self Inflicted Wounds

If we did autopsies on relapses, the most prevalent listed finding would be: Relapse due to self inflicted wounds.  Self inflicted wounds occur when we focus the considerable self destructive weapons in our arsenal, to hurt and maim, our oldest, truest friend, ourselves.  One addict explains, “I got all up in my head,” preceding the damage report. Who hasn’t observed a friend having a world class pity party, on his way to acting out. These are the self inflicted wounds. Many deal with issues not of their own making, unrequested trauma, genetic or cultural issues not of their choosing. These […]

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    Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

    Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

Yogi Berra taught us all that it ain’t over til the fat lady sings!  The process of recovery has a similar final act. To the general public, the term “recovery” is seen as “someone who is trying to stop using alcohol or other drugs.” (NCADD)   It then follows that the process of recovery is accomplished when we stop using.  Achieving the thing we call sobriety. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) recently undertook to quantify what the process of recovery might look like.  Their work yielded this definition:  “Recovery is a process of change whereby individuals […]

  • movie set
    Living on a Movie Set Living on a Movie Set

    Living on a Movie Set

Living on a Movie Set

Being an addict is like living life on a movie set.  It looks real, feels real, but is only a shell, a facade that is far from the parameters of reality.  The condemning problem is that the addict doesn’t recognize it. In our minds the “set” is nothing but real.  We act out our fantasy life within the view of all around us maintaining a blind eye to reality.  We are convinced they will stay “on script” no matter how outrageous our behavior becomes.  That is impossible, they don’t have the script, only we do, they are living in the […]

  • walking
    She walked through it… She walked through it…

    She walked through it…

She walked through it…

I visited with a friend the other day and she surprised me.  She had a very traumatic childhood and had struggled to manage her emotional life as an adult.  Rage was her number one tool of empowerment.  The rage gave her a sense of power but left her without friends or partners, she chased them all away. As we talked she recounted a story to me that in the past would have ended in rage that she handled in a very healthy way.  I marveled at her new skills and couldn’t help asking how she had accomplished it.  She said, […]

  • bullying
    Stop Bullying Yourself! Stop Bullying Yourself!

    Stop Bullying Yourself!

Stop Bullying Yourself!

Nobody likes a bully. Our collective awareness of the dangers and harm of bullying are rising. Teachers and administrators are searching for solutions, state lawmakers are crafting bills to protect victims, yet one of the worst bullies is getting off scot-free. He has his way with his victim, wreaking emotional havoc, and meets little or no resistance. You have may have witnessed this bullying and done nothing to stop it. Who is the bully? You. The victim? Yourself. Self-bullying is only beginning to be recognized as an emotional danger, but a growing number of researchers are establishing the connection between […]

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    Not all Putts Fall Not all Putts Fall

    Not all Putts Fall

Not all Putts Fall

Anyone that imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed.  the fact is most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise …The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.  (Gordon B Hinckly)

  • Insp12
    The Attitudes of Recovery The Attitudes of Recovery

    The Attitudes of Recovery

The Attitudes of Recovery

Recovery is not easy. It has many requirements. Requirement number one and fundamental to the process of recovery is the maintenance of certain attitudes. Loss of any of these attitudes derails the recovery train. We will not make it to our desired destination. The Attitudes of Recovery are: Willingness: When the sum of our faith and humility is sufficient, it reaches a type of spiritual critical mass. Hope is fostered and grows and a willing heart emerges that allows us to submit to the process of recovery. Commitment: As Maxwell has said, “The winds of tribulation blow out some men’s candle of […]

  • Spiralstair
    There is another way… There is another way…

    There is another way…

There is another way…

I often meet people at their worst moments.  Years of struggle and frustration, pain and self-destructiveness drive them to knock on my door.  Not necessarily because they think that I have the answers, but because they know they do not. Life has not worked out according to their plan.  But then not many plan to develop an addiction.  What is the song from Les Miserable say, “I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I am living.”  And it isn’t just addiction that can derail us.  Things like low self esteem, anxiety, depression, shame and […]

  • Insp-4
    When? When?

    When?

When?

When? If not now, when? Questions of recovery.  We are not asked them just once in our recovery life.  But several times as we passage along the recovery highway, we come to stations of new commitment.  Places where we must leave the old behind and assume the new. These questions are not easy answered, and more specifically they are not easily implemented.  We so resist change, even when it is for the better.  Even when it would transform us from fearful, anxious or depressed, we resist.  Even when change would mean freedom from our darkness, our loneliness and frustrations we […]

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    Mood Management Mood Management

    Mood Management

Mood Management

“My mind is a bad neighborhood that I try to not go into alone.” While Anne Lamott’s humorous adage makes us smile, she does identify a significant problem for many: The moods found in the ‘hood’ of our mind can challenge our mental health, well-being and happiness. They are pretty hard to totally avoid — the blahs, the blues, icky moods. All are vulnerable. As psychcentral.com puts it, “Everyone experiences the blues because of troubling events such as the loss of a loved one, job difficulties, money problems, family issues or illness.” In some situations, like the grieving process, experiencing the […]