• Book Cover-Recovering
    Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain

    Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain

Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain

Reclaiming Your Addicted Brain   (1/3 off this week!) Newest work from Roger’s pen with co-author Irwin Morse explores the “How” of coming back from having an addicted brain. The story follows George, an alcoholic and sex addict, through some of his acting out and mental processing as an addict.  The story then turns to the process of his recovery.  Along the way clinical commentary accompanies the narrative, shedding light and understanding on the process.  The illustrations provide those still in the struggle of profound examples of their own addictive behaviors.  The illustrations are followed by clear “How To” steps […]

  • fat lady3
    Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

    Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

Recovery, It Ain’t Over ‘Til It’s Over

Yogi Berra taught us all that it ain’t over til the fat lady sings!  The process of recovery has a similar final act. To the general public, the term “recovery” is seen as “someone who is trying to stop using alcohol or other drugs.” (NCADD)   It then follows that the process of recovery is accomplished when we stop using.  Achieving the thing we call sobriety. The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) recently undertook to quantify what the process of recovery might look like.  Their work yielded this definition:  “Recovery is a process of change whereby individuals […]

  • movie set
    Living on a Movie Set Living on a Movie Set

    Living on a Movie Set

Living on a Movie Set

Being an addict is like living life on a movie set.  It looks real, feels real, but is only a shell, a facade that is far from the parameters of reality.  The condemning problem is that the addict doesn’t recognize it. In our minds the “set” is nothing but real.  We act out our fantasy life within the view of all around us maintaining a blind eye to reality.  We are convinced they will stay “on script” no matter how outrageous our behavior becomes.  That is impossible, they don’t have the script, only we do, they are living in the […]

  • Worry(LowRes)
    Acceptance is Still the Answer Acceptance is Still the Answer

    Acceptance is Still the Answer

Acceptance is Still the Answer

Acceptance is the answer, still. I was reminded yet again this week, of the importance of bringing acceptance into our lives. Without it, recovery escapes us. As a client rehearsed to me his struggles with his relationship to his wife, it became very clear to me that his struggle was not with his wife, but with his own acceptance of  her and her personality. (In other words it was not about her, but about his stuff.) In AA’s Big Book Chapter, “Acceptance was the Answer,” the writer states, “when I am disturbed, it is because I find some person, place, […]

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    Not all Putts Fall Not all Putts Fall

    Not all Putts Fall

Not all Putts Fall

Anyone that imagines that bliss is normal is going to waste a lot of time running around shouting that he’s been robbed.  the fact is most putts don’t drop, most beef is tough, most children grow up to just be people, most successful marriages require a high degree of toleration, most jobs are more often dull than otherwise …The trick is to thank the Lord for letting you have the ride.  (Gordon B Hinckly)

  • Insp12
    The Attitudes of Recovery The Attitudes of Recovery

    The Attitudes of Recovery

The Attitudes of Recovery

Recovery is not easy. It has many requirements. Requirement number one and fundamental to the process of recovery is the maintenance of certain attitudes. Loss of any of these attitudes derails the recovery train. We will not make it to our desired destination. The Attitudes of Recovery are: Willingness: When the sum of our faith and humility is sufficient, it reaches a type of spiritual critical mass. Hope is fostered and grows and a willing heart emerges that allows us to submit to the process of recovery. Commitment: As Maxwell has said, “The winds of tribulation blow out some men’s candle of […]

  • Spiralstair
    There is another way… There is another way…

    There is another way…

There is another way…

I often meet people at their worst moments.  Years of struggle and frustration, pain and self-destructiveness drive them to knock on my door.  Not necessarily because they think that I have the answers, but because they know they do not. Life has not worked out according to their plan.  But then not many plan to develop an addiction.  What is the song from Les Miserable say, “I had a dream my life would be so different from this hell I am living.”  And it isn’t just addiction that can derail us.  Things like low self esteem, anxiety, depression, shame and […]

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    Make yourself available for recovery… Make yourself available for recovery…

    Make yourself available for recovery…

Make yourself available for recovery…

One of the requirements for recovery or the healing from an addiction, is that we make ourselves available for it. On the physical level, we have to be present for meetings, counseling, reading, all of the activities that help gain understanding and build skills.  AA’ers often take on the 90 meetings in 90 days commitment, putting themselves physically in the way of recovery, placing themselves in a place where recovery is known to occur.  They are then available for recovery. The concept makes sense, but many addicts find reasons to resist.  They avoid meetings because it will be embarrassing to […]

  • Broken watch2
    Disarming the Triggers Disarming the Triggers

    Disarming the Triggers

Disarming the Triggers

In the history of the recovery world, when the term “trigger” (an event or situation that causes acting out,) was brought into the lexicon, recovery helpers quickly adopted the concept. Everyone was talking about triggers and what to do about them. It got to the point that a recovery conversation didn’t go very far without triggers being brought up.  Many thought they now understood addiction because they understood triggers. Some addicts even learned to use them as an excuse for addictive behavior, “While I didn’t intend to act out, when I saw that picture it just triggered me.” I don’t […]

  • superstorm sandy
    This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job… This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job…

    This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job…

This isn’t a little cleanup and coat of paint job…

Addicts generally come into addiction recovery, thinking that it is no big deal. The higher the intellect or IQ of an addict, the more likely they will believe that the war with addiction will be won in a matter of days or perhaps on the outside weeks. Here’s the reality. If this were a remodeling project, (and in a very real way it is the rebuilding of a human being,) we would talk not in terms of paint, cleanup and decorating, but in the wholesale gutting of the building and the complete rebuilding of the infrastructure. If you are a […]

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