GlorymountainsI used to be a God mocker.

Galatians ch. 6 reads:  Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man soweth, that shall he also reap.

For he that soweth to his flesh shall of the flesh reap corruption; but he that soweth to the spirit shall of the spirit reap life everlasting.

And let us not be weary in well doing: for in due season we shall reap, if we faint not.

The fabrications we build in our mind that let us act out, are the very things that turn us into God mockers. We somehow come to believe that acting out is okay for us. Sometimes we think were just entitled. Others respond out of pain or fear or loneliness. We all come to that place, as addicts, where acting out is justifiable.  It seems like a good idea to us.

Of course the problem is, it’s not a very good idea to God. He has given us pretty clear guidelines concerning how we should live our lives. We know, pretty clearly, what is right, and what is wrong. We betray ourselves with our addiction. Our urge or desire to act out gains strength every time we indulge in our behavior. It overpowers our will to keep the Commandments. And as it says in Galatians, that’s not a very good place to be.

How do we gain the power to stop acting out and mocking God? By accessing his love. When we feel his love for us there is a change in our heart. Our part in that relationship, as elder Holland has pointed out, is to “change anything we can that might be part of the problem.” That would include our acting out, because acting out drives away the spirit. It separates us from his love.

Many of our, what AA calls, character defects, separate us from God. Whether it be entitlement, pride, jealousy, envy or any of the other character defects at our disposal, they all have their own particular way of separating us from God. And we don’t do very well when were separated from him.

I remember the days when I had acted out yet again. And the shame, sadness, disappointment, frustration, anger, self-hatred, welled up within me. The pain of it was difficult to bear. And I felt so very far from my heavenly father.

But I am in a better place now. And part of my message is that we can all be in a better place. No matter what your struggle, no matter what your past, he is aware of you and is most anxious for you to approach him in humility with your love.

Don’t set expectations about how this healing should take place. That betrays many, many people. They expect everything to be lifted from them, leave the healing, and the how of it to him. If he decides to leave the thorn in your flesh, but teaches you how to use it as a strength, as he did Paul, be able to accept that and rejoice in it. Don’t go the Jonah route and be angry with Him because He didn’t do it your way.