dd99cac75f042c3e36d72b677a982f92-1There was a tremendous spurt of recovery for me when I first heard the phrase, “Turn my mind and will over to my Heavenly Father for His care and keeping.”  My up bringing had included faith and regular interaction with God, but I had never contemplated that my submission to Him should be so described.

I guess I held a sort of Old Testament view of Him being the “great and terrible” and my job was to run around and keep as many of those commandments as I could to avoid being outside when the door was shut.

As I began the practice of turning my mind and will over to Him for His care and keeping, I felt empowered. Not empowerment born of arrogance and self will, but the empowerment of freedom.   The freedom that only submission brings.

I got really good at turning it over.  Unfortunately I also learned and practiced the skill of taking my mind and will back, out of His care and keeping, so that I, myself, could play God once in a while.  That never ended well for me nor my recovery.

My neighbor has an incredible garden.  It almost requires peace and solitude of all who enter.  I once over heard a visitor’s compliment to the gardener:

“You and God have a magnificent garden.”

My neighbor replied, “Yes we do, but you should have seen it when God had it by himself.”

I have learned that turning my mind and will over is always the starting point, but that I also have a part, I can expect the promises to be fulfilled after all that I can do.

We never travel very far in a day before we must decide in favor of our recovery or our addiction.  As I keep my tent facing recovery, I am carried into my healing, when I face towards my addiction, indulge in my character defects, embrace my self will, I encounter the abyss of self destruction that is my addiction.

I love the peace of serenity.  I had never encountered serenity before recovery. It is the manifestation of the presence of my Savior in my life.  It is also a most delicate flower.  It spoils ever so quickly.  It requires tending that must never lapse

I must begin by turning my mind and will over to my Heavenly Father for His care and keeping, and then turn my attention to doing all that I can do.

I am just grateful that there is a path to follow.