evil queenMake no mistake about it, for better or worse, pornography is sex education.  Unfortunately it is for the much worse.

Viewed pornography does more to shape values and beliefs about what sexual experience should be than anything other than sexual experience itself. The problem is that the curriculum presented by pornographers is not reality. Becoming “pornified” can diminish or extinguish the ability to engage in an intimate relationship.

Pamela Paul, author of Pornified researched casual users of pornography, 80% of which were male. Paul found that pornography dictates most men’s thoughts about sex. Men who use pornography often have trouble achieving orgasm with their partner unless they are actively thinking about pornography. The pornography user is rendered impotent without pornography.

Think about what that means. A porn watcher can not be intimate with his partner unless he actively thinks about (or watches) porn. That means they are not alone in the bedroom. He is really not present for his partner. He has introduced others into the process. The attention he pays his porn, he is not paying to his partner. He is absent emotionally and attentively. Something that is not missed by his partner.

His inattentiveness or lack of presence is translated into rejection. I am not good enough to please him. When you are giving your greatest gift, your complete intimate self, and find your partner needs the distraction of someone else to be satisfied, the resulting message of rejection is crushing. A point porn addicts really fail to understand. They couldn’t hurt their partner more with a stick.